I will noT forgive myself

Recently , everything were doing fine...I like her and didn't bother to fell in love with her...Everything were just fine...But , I could not forgive myself for how I treated her...I misused her till the day I see the truth... The problem is do I love her stil ? I got the answer... I will keep this to only myself... I doesn't want to bring any problems to her anymore...My wish for her is , may she found her true love soon ... And I will just be happy for her whether i'm or not...3rd...Shall it be the last..Shame on myself...May this truth shall be reveal...Or will be untold as I always avoid...Will she stay the same with or without me...Will she will be happy for having me or without me...Will I survive with or without her....Will I stay away from her...Will this feeling stay or it's just a dust...Will I call her or msg her...Will I leave her for my own good or her neither...Will I hurt if I did as I said...Will I still waiting for her...I do like you...I can't manage to do anything and I don't know why...Maybe the feeling is too strong that time?

U're innocent...I'm Guilty...May the god judge me to the hell...Embarassed...