The Health

Today 1st Nov 2013, went for a check up ( ECG) regarding health... Chest pain ... heart beat not balance ... left hand cram... How come this happen to me ? And now , Waiting report .. Sometimes, I was thinking how long more when the times come ... Scared. Tired ! Speechless !

Thinking~

It iS ALL fate... And I will be waiting ~~~ The days since we temporary go for separate way, make me realize something ... Something that is so meaningful which I don't know how to describe it out here.... If I were you , yes I will definitely will go this way, but its up to yourself...Choice and time is at your hand.... everyday hoping there is a special MESSAGE from you , saying " lets go back together "... Sitting in front of BEAR BEAR , telling her I am just too hurtful and I have to get home late at night due to alcoholic... Well , this is not me... Confession , drink too much have made my body weaker ... could feel my heartbeat is not fine anymore... but I don't know when I will stop hurt myself as much as u made.. Dear all friend which had that I have drink with them which I usually reject them, Don't afraid , till the day I died , I will remember u guys, which make fun with me when I am lonely... thank you ~ Dear " To her " I still love you so much.... And I miss you badly... - A message from you, really could change my day. -a call from you make me feel safer. -a date from you make me happy. I am here always , just for you , only you...

The Day to grow~

Well, till this day , I don't know the direction anymore.... I lost the confidence , I lost my passion , I lost the job that I admired... I just don't know what to do right now... I got a way, but if i go through that way , which I change my path way, I might lose someone that I love. I dont want to lost her , but in the same time , I would like to change my direction... well , there is not support...and im alone in this... Change my job path... FML~

The Love

Everytime, I am the only one created the quarrel and make her feel sad... And she once she started to cry, I am totally hurts cause this is not the first time... A single drop , makes me feel bad everytimes... I would find a way and I know I will shine her life up once I get her the ring... the ring for both of us.... Babe, I know I owe you alots of this words "SoRRy"... And I mean it... And its makes me feel guilty afterall... And Yes, it will spoiled my mood all day long... But sometimes it really makes me no mood to do anything at all... Every supports from you, is the rewards for being greatfull and achieved whatever I wanted... "Meaningful" the case happened yesterday, it ruin everything today... But I will try my best to fix everything. Love you, Baby Ee Ling. Loved Teddy And Bear Bear Always.... Alots of huggies to them... Hugsss~~~~~~ <3 ( *Hearts*) I love you so much. Tears Drop......