Declared 18~~

Lets start with my life , shall we?



I admitted that , so many things that happen to me recently since the last post. I've been away for a moment . But I'm still interested in blogging. For the past , I already dont know what I had been done . And I'm still having fun around my friends . My life in love is really frustrating because till now when I saw her , my heart always whispered to me , u may try harder than doing nothing. Besides that , my friend that always asked me why dont u chased her back?(I supposed to answer this but I feel ashamed) Yes I want to , but I cant manage to take good care of her. Why? I'm not borned to be like that . Who says ? I know myself better than others and that is it about my love fantasy world..

Back to my studies , everything goes unwell...Itz about my F&B and french , sighs ,please don't fail me. For me college is a way to spend time but it also made me decided which way to go now and it is clear .

5th december :
Thanks for all that are with me celebrating , too bad no cakes . I'm happy with those people that I celebrated with (p.s too bad jocelyn is not around due to working , I'm glad to see you there =D .)

Cybercafe - DOTA
It depressed me as always. I'm looking down. I don't see any hope in the team . Perhaps my skills is not enough . After losing , I will think of quiting dota for god sake but I still played. Why am I so arrogant?

Speechless in this case I Guess?

As a start , this week I've been ended up with lack of sleeping and yeah my acnes comes out again .. Heart-broken though when I saw it... Well I decided what to do about it...

Sometimes I do like to live alone… Get apart with family and see how live goes on without them… But sometimes things go on like I want… In that case , I really don’t know what to do anymore…That is what I’m thinking nowdays… There is a few more but itz not reasonable to describe it.

Hell yeah I’m Bored …


No new post till I feel like writing and post it out… ~~

Treatment

Pictures taken on

Orange shirt - 16 may 2009

Red shirt -28 jul 2009

Recently my face acnes is so badly... I've alots of medication... And yeah looks is important... After sometimes , I tried to go for another treatments which change alots... (p.s of cause the check -up fees and facial treatment creams bills is expensive ) Some of my friends also asked me go for treatments.. well hope this pictures will amazed you...wakakaka...

Sigh Sigh

Nowdays , rain and rain non-stop...Arghh go to college also troublesome...Wondering when can I have my own car and licence...Should I find a job ? Cause this semester for my course is really Fuck up.. Screw out my time...Damn it...It's good to keep our own secrets to ourself and not to tell anyone's else...






I just wanna live without having any troubles..
Eug3n3~

Sigh...

3weeks holiday turned into nightmare...


Sleep eat and play...Spend money on game and alcoholic...sigh...what am I suppose to do?

To be Continued

Dear my ex ,

We had been broke up for few years . I doubt u don't even remember my face & perhaps my name... Remember those words u pointed to me? ( that u wanna commit suicide at seaside/beach and I told you if u want to go ahead , I will followed you coz I do still love you that time and you did gave me chances to proved that I loved you but I don't take any step forward ) Well today I did go there for a occasion(beach)... It was so great with my friends and I wont forgot that time... Remember what I asked you to do when u can't slp? {Count how many stars in the sky} and I will be there and guide you towards your path( today I do look up to the sky but there is nothing left behind).. And yea I destroyed every single thing , and left no room for us ... I do regret ~ Till the time u proved to me what is love about... Thanks... U've fully guided me... Anyway i'M fine... Hope you had found your true love.. Still love the eyes contact with you... But I had found someone that had the same eyes colour with you (naturally)... I like her before but I don't know what I've done towards her ... I treated her kinda badly... But she do controled her expression with the way I acted infront of her... This is amazing... Till today I've changed (correct me if i'M wrong).. Itz no used to apologize.. Mistakes is mistakes and it passed... I straight posted this after I got back.. thus , Don't say anything if I were too emotionally.. Depressed.. Lonely...

College life 2

This compliments papers , really crash up my heart . U may zoom it . Read it yourself . And once more what it stated is the truth . 2 months with compliments and 80% of it is true . Till now , when I look through this paper , I'm still thinking how could I change myself .Frustrating.

My first worst coursework dilemma . Completed within 3-5days. 125+ pages. Wondering the marks I should get .

Chef uniform

haha...At last , I get my chef uniform...And yeah this tailor is bloody sucks(sorry to say that but it's just the TRUTH)... Next semester must wear it de...Or perhaps during my exam week. Well it's hot + the hot weather = it gonna kill me...Nothing much to say bout this..(so let it end here)...Face problems XD

Read This And Apologize

27 June 2009 (Sat)

I've waited long way to watch transformer movie at cinema. I Do say No to those friends that invited me to go due to "I feel like watch with you is better"(I bet It's more fun ) but what did I do till u said LEMA when u called me? I invited you first , then you invited me again So Don't u know whether I want to watch or not?( Come on la even a "Normal" friends can get it and as if today is the 1st day u know me.) I was cool with you even u bringed your gf along but at least tell me what ! So I could invite someone else to watch together rather than asked to be a lamp post (I know u got other friends joining but I dont feel comfortable with that and yet is this the 1st day u know me ? ) So I decided to not to watch. Don't u feel something wrong when I said so? (perhaps in ur mind now u thinking of "i'M not a good friends to you ; i'm a nobody in our few years of friendship and pls u think so I got a ans for u . Thanks for the advices u gave me when i'm in trouble and all the ways u did so help me up. Frankly I could not be to ur "Friend" anymore and yeah why? Bared in mind. Gf is not the way for you to forgot your friends feeling sometime(Feel shame abit lar). I wish all the best for you and don't come back to friends when u got into trouble like me. I regreted before. thx for this blog. It make me describe all my feeling . =D ..Sigh what I guessed about you is wrong . U're just a ordinary type of person. More to be nothing. Haih what a day u spoiled. Unforgiven

Bye And enjoY
Hope the one u "holded hands" together is your gf.Or else i'm gonna feel embarassed on myself..
And shy to be ur friends anymore..

Trying to make everything goes well

Studies(school life),
I've growed , but what do I need to survive... Well , for the past few years throughout the school days that I had gone to, I don't really want to study and now I felt so sorry to myself which I don't know why suddenly it bared inside my memory.

Love,
I started to fail & fail since form 2 which I never receive what she want to give to me & maybe I'm just a wood. And yeah till now I still continue to live as a wood.

Friends,
I gone through everything , thanks for the support.(Bf - Thanks for everything , this may not payable but I still got to thank you with the eclipse of my heart.)

Family,
I just love the way they are..

Studies(College),
Chefz , uhm everything seem going well...I would like to keep it up.

Myself ,
Still taking good care of my face (T_T) and I'm not as fine as the passed.

Well till here..(got some pictures that i'm gonna upload it but lazy hehe)

UnLoveable XoXoXo ~

College life

Years 2009 - Stepped into KDU college with DIP-PCT course . After a few weeks later , curious to know what I get?(above)..Utensils.. Arghh..Everydays must bring it to college and almost freak me out..Am I feel proud to be what I'm now?

Borrowed a book from library and it was my first book(p.s im not nerd)...Well of course , I don't even bother to spend my time to read it and contained of 1.5k of pages(roughly)..The purpose I borrowed this book is to referred back "what chef and lecturer's taught me" for a month and itz all the same ..My first impression to this book is Proud ! xD

Tickets Turned To Rubbish

Buy Original , See Original

Buy Papers , See how The trees Been Chop down

I do collection On the theatre Room..

Crazy ones...

Mad ones

Loved ones

All here!

I will noT forgive myself

Recently , everything were doing fine...I like her and didn't bother to fell in love with her...Everything were just fine...But , I could not forgive myself for how I treated her...I misused her till the day I see the truth... The problem is do I love her stil ? I got the answer... I will keep this to only myself... I doesn't want to bring any problems to her anymore...My wish for her is , may she found her true love soon ... And I will just be happy for her whether i'm or not...3rd...Shall it be the last..Shame on myself...May this truth shall be reveal...Or will be untold as I always avoid...Will she stay the same with or without me...Will she will be happy for having me or without me...Will I survive with or without her....Will I stay away from her...Will this feeling stay or it's just a dust...Will I call her or msg her...Will I leave her for my own good or her neither...Will I hurt if I did as I said...Will I still waiting for her...I do like you...I can't manage to do anything and I don't know why...Maybe the feeling is too strong that time?

U're innocent...I'm Guilty...May the god judge me to the hell...Embarassed...

Once more sleepy morning !

Thurs i slept late...I struggle to sleep early but i cant manage to do that....So I do tell myself feel sleepy during friday class really troublesome >referred > if I did not pay attention during my kitchen class at college , the chef might shoot me or say something that would have a scar on my mind , I didn't do well because im still trying ok...Among 5 subjects this "larder production" subject is the most headache for me , I did know u scold me for my own good nor always keep me think of I'm weak so I must listen, read and talk using perfect english . I don't expect anything further..

Today before I checked my alarm , it is 6.45am and it late for me de..I slept for 4 hours.. No choice , I just wake up brush teeths , bath and get my breakfast...Shit! After I manage to done everything , its 7.30 ...wth...I quickly grab my bag and get off. Broom broom ~~~once I start my bike speed come into my mind . During my way through the road , it's slippery and I don't think of others...In that case , the speed is too fast , I tried 3rd gear but I don't know why it make me drift...Back tire spinned And sudden stop...i drift for 100m like this...Luckily I could control the bike or else im at the ground(the road is wet and slope , how to stupid am I to go speed)...

I continued my journey to college , arrived at 7.58am...After a few minutes , class began. We did 9 types of different salads(will post it when I get the pics)..As the chef keep questioning people , he looked to me and tell me u "don't think u stand behind and keep quiet ,I won't question you"..Bull shit la~Act like primary scl teacher..So I just shake my head and smile ,that how I react , hehe...I try to follow every single things he taught me... And yea my mind is still on my bed! Sleeping mood... 30mins later , again he pointed a question for me . This time i'm just behind him "few inches away" ...why do we whist the egg while double-boiled it...I not sure that method is called double-boiled or branching...Sigh~ At the end , I could not answer him.. My groupmates keep quiet(Don't know I think)...Weird...For a few seconds the chef look into my eyes...Saying ur mind is Not here, it at somewhere else (Repeated few times during my 2nd class and so on) Damn ~! 9am everyones got their own recipes and started to do...In the team I'm doing caesar salad...Nice! sooooo prepared the ingredients lor...add This add that...Tada...But haven't done...Baked the bread...Curi Curi makan...Chef can eat and other can't..Bull shit once more..I just try the taste ...And it seem like a garlic bread , but nicer than those peoples selling at outside(refer to restaurant and hawker stall). After that ...Chef prepare for me 'the team'...I will say a couple...Cause in a team , it has 2 peoples...wakakaka...I don't want say much more..Once done...it's makan time...=D...Before we started , we takes pictures...and it nice..

Borrowed frm library a book...Damn thick!..Heavy...Title the professional chef...I laughed...xD...
Back home and I sleep til 4.00pm...Awake and start blogging ..Lolx..

byes...
Regrets 3ugen3

What is Friends that stay forever for?

If not mistaken this post is already been for a long times...But I still wanna post it though...

Arguements and quarrel had happened...I just hope this

friendship wil stay forever!...Friendship forever...

Why i'M writing bloggies?

On 7th of May ...there is a friend told me about writing a blog... At first , i don't really agree , somehow now i'm here for a reason...it's good for me to eloborate and express everything here huh.... Or I will hide from the truth again....Hell no! So I decided to start bloggin...Sigh...It's kinda hard for me to decide nowdays...